Love days, and letting go
I sought the stars and it brought me back to me
I figured now, of all.
Would be the right time to tell a story - I’m working to get better at that. My typing tends to be a stream of conciousness so…bear w/ it.
-I started ‘atimetowait’ in 2017, I wrote about it’s anniversary here!!
I almost missed it, actually…it was a fluke I caught it. So then,
I honored it.
Hoping maybe, just to continue in those ways. I’ve decided to let that timeframe…go.
So be me, out of an engagement. Out as a trans-woman. Inverviewing as now, myself.
-I did 7, slogging years, still. Well spent w/ treatments.
But 7 years I will never get back, seven that now exist somehow. In 2200 songs. And now I look forth, to more treatments, to still…a full life of - (?)
Take it from myself there’s - ‘no plans, no goals, no future’
Realizing that time, was actually not wasted at all, like I was playing into believe. That my strength in taking back control - maybe of my enviroments, they react to me, accordingly.
Maybe was always the plan, I wonder how a 17 year old predicted it. But, in my usual antics of having too much love to spare. Putting it into creativity seemed like a ‘good’ idea. Putting it back, for me…the ‘right’ idea.
So now, there’s an album out, towards a phrase I always championed.
-it gets my lips messy, when i smile - freya langley
I wonder how it looks, these songs are old. Recorded, mixed, mastered inside a house I was evicted from,
In those aspects, I can still go back. Now only…sonically. But,
When I listen to these songs, there’s four walls back around me, suddenly. There’s my golden retriever sleeping under my desk as I hyperfixiate on my masters. There’s love, there’s passion, human-ness,
An open communinty, culturally, self-empowered but - Too many arms to hold myself up.
w/ all the love in the world now.
happy love day
-alice
xoxo